To begin with a cliche...It never ceases to amaze me how...two people can look at something and see different sides of it. Like that group of blindfolded people who grope that elephant, feeling different parts of it and coming to various conclusions on what it is they are feeling.
My idea of a vacation has changed since I married a Schoonover. P.S. (pre-Schoonoverization) I was content with a book and a vacation by the lake, without too many activities to do. Now A.S. (after-Schoonoverization) I want a plan and an itinerary of activities in addition to down-time.
Through this vacation experience I have learned that going on vacation with small children is not relaxing at all. Everything you do revolves around them: where you will go, how long you can stay there, feeding times, when you have to be back from your activity so they can be back in time for their nap...Perhaps, I am not ready or cut-out for parenting.
People keep telling me, "Oh you'll be great parents!" But when you are a parent your whole life becomes your children and their needs and wants and trying to train their naturally selfish behavior. It's one long life-lesson in self-control.
You can't sleep in anymore. You can't go out to eat at nice restaurants. You have to save the money you would normally spend on other things, on the baby. Everything revolves around them and their short attention spans and their unnerving ability to be fully awake in less than a minute. They don't have any morning fog they need to conquer, not like adults. Their eyes open, and BLAM! they're awake.
Is there life during parenting? Help me my friends with kids...you're my only hope.
There's life, it's just different. They do wake up right away - no morning fog for them. But, they often wake up ready to give many hugs and kisses, and excitement about the most mundane things (hooray for milk, mommy!) I haven't really slept in much, but after two years and two kids, I'm finally sleeping through the night again. My kids are pretty behave pretty well at nice restaurants - the two times we've been able to take them. They do need naps - my kids can skip one here or there though and be okay. Everything does revolve around them, but it's so much fun! When you stop to think about it, you give up a lot to be a parent, but you get so much more! I can't tell you how awesome it is to watch Matthew point and grunt his way to communicating that he wants to play with the broom and dust pan (the kid likes to clean!) Or how wonderful it is to have Grace imitate me and say "bye, honey" to her father. And now, we enjoy things MORE. If Jeff and I get to go out on a date - it's a HUGE treat! So, it's hard work, but it's so much fun and wonderful at the same time!
ReplyDeleteWhen God thinks you're ready for parenthood, you'll be ready. He'll give you the strength you need!
Oh Rigel I have to agree with Dorothy on this one, there's most definatly a life with kids. My world does revolve around my 3 boys but I wouldn't trade one precious minute of it. I love being the soccer mom and going to school to volunteer and listening to Logan's 30 minutes of talking after to school to tell me about every minute of his day. I love that when Eli wakes up at 6:00 am in the morning the first thing he does is run and jump on my bed with a "Good Morning Mommy, Eli is up." Wesley helps me remember that I still have a lot to learn with his very insightful questions.
ReplyDeleteAnd we do still go out to eat at least once a month with the boys, and they behave really well, they need to learn volume control but hey they are 3 rowdy boys.
Yes parenthood has its rough spots, the lack of sleep, the hard questions, and the hectic schedule, it's a much harder job than being in the Army, but it is the greatest joy in my life. Trust me when the time comes you will get all the strength and love that you will need to nurture a child.