Friday, July 31, 2009

Livin' in La La Land

Have you ever wanted to be 16 again? Have a do-over? What would you do differently? I think that as a 16 year-old I would like to have had more confidence, planned more things with friends (making a more concerted effort to socialize) and I probably would have tried out for a musical or two. Of course, my perception of my sense of self could be pretty warped, you know, hindsight and all of that.

These days, my fantasy land (or La La Land as I like to call it) involves little daydream vignettes where I am a different person, who can do anything she sets her mind to. I politely speak my mind, I have the ability to say "no" and I make household project lists and get things done. Have you met my alter-ego? She's awesome. She always has something witty to say, and knows what to say for every occasion. She's in a word...AMAZING.

Words to describe her: confident, balanced, articulate, intelligent, fun, friendly, loving, good, and oh, one last thing...employed...with a teaching contract. Yeah, that would be awesome.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Another Thing

Another thing that precipitates a change in your circle of friends is a move. This move can take the form of a geographic relocation, a promotion at work, or even a transition from independent living to assisted living in a geriatric care facility.

Soon you're hanging out with new people on a regular basis and you find yourself in a place where you just aren't around the people with whom you normally socialize anymore.

I've got a relative who recently transitioned to assisted living, and she's on a new meal plan, sitting in assigned seating in a new dining room and her social outlet has been changed for her. She can't sit and eat with her group anymore, instead she's eating her meals with another person that doesn't say much of anything at all.

Relocating from one state to another you're newly challenged to find a church family, you have to get to know your neighbors, and make new friends inside and outside of work. If you have kids, you also have to help them adjust: find new childcare, get them enrolled in new schools and they have to make new friends. Oi Vey!

I know how a plant feels when it's been transplanted, shocked out of it's little mind.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Left Behind

It's not just the name of a Christian best-seller. It also pertains to what your life looks like when you're the last one to....(fill in the blank).

When you're still:

...single. Everyone else gets a significant other, you stop getting to hang out with your friends because they're all double or triple dating and they forget you exist. You turn into that extra wheel, the spare that nobody really needs until they get that rare, flat tire.

...childless. Everyone else is off having playdates and getting together to talk about their kids and if you ever get an invite to attend you're stuck listening to all the moms kabitz about thier kids (because "that's where they are [in life] right now."

...unemployed. You have a mortgage, other bills and responsibilities but you still can't get a job, even after spending an obnoxious amount of money on your education. You know you are capable (being the hard-working individual that you are) and you know you should be gainfully employed (student loans are a b!tch), but you just can't catch a break, and you're NOT eligible for unemployment.

Circles of friends change and it can be painful when it happens, but it's a natural part of life. You can't control much in life, unless you have money, and even then you still can't control everything.

I was watching a 60 Minutes show tonight about Los Vegas hotel mogul, Steve Wynn and the man is loaded, but he's also going blind to a childhood disease called retinitis pigmentosa. No one has it perfect, but most of us have it less perfect than others. The powers that be always find a way to crap on your parade.

We can control our behavior and our actions. We can't control circumstances that are beyond us, like never being asked out on a date, or being barren, or not being able to find a job during a recession. These are just some of the circumstances that can bend, break and reshape your circles of friends. Don't be too surprised when it happens to you and don't be mad at your friends if they don't check in on you. They're too caught up in their own drama to notice. After all, it's not all about you, (Thanks Purpose Driven Life guy!).

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Hard Work

It feels good to be physically tired at the end of a long day of landscaping (and I didn't even start until 11 a.m.). I don't know how professional landscapers do it! Today I helped my friend Dar clear and mulch some of her flower beds and move one wood pile and restack and build up another. It was good, hard work and I'm bushed on the couch to prove it.

Tomorrow should prove the hardest as far as muscle soreness is concerned. For now, I just feel fatigue. I'm making sure to load up on a bit of potassium and sodium as well as drinking more water to stay hydrated. I can't even begin to guess how much water I lost via perspiration throughout the day...but it was alot. TMI?

The good news is, I don't have any fight in me. I'm plumb tuckered out. Jeff could deliver bad news and I'm not sure even an adrenaline rush could oust me from this couch. Thank heaven for laptops, otherwise, I wouldn't have the gumption to share about my day, and then what would we do? ;)

I haven't been this physically tired in quite sometime. It's an amazing feeling! Usually, I'm just mentally tired, but this physical drain is something quite different.

Right now, I'm thankful for friendship, showers and soap, and a comfy couch on which to rest my weary body. Oi!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kids, or Lack Thereof

This week I had the pleasure of having my sister and my neice come to our house for a visit. My husband and I have had trouble conceiving, so it was fun to have a kid in the house.

I learned that among the patience God gave to Job, it takes constant vigilance and discipline to properly raise a child. I guess I should really say the necessity for supervision and correction were reinforced because I already knew they were needed.

There are alot of lazy parents out there that don't provide proper, CONSISTENT supervision and guidance, but my sister is not one of them. She is among a decreasing number of parents who are perpetually striving to bring their children up the way they should be respect the authority of adults.

*You always have to make children aware that nobody has the right to molest them so that they learn boundaries to avoid being violated, but children should be raised to respect others and themselves.

Young children need to be told what to do, not given multiple choices. Who is the parent!!!? When you are older, you get choices as priviledges when you demonstrate responsibility and reason.

I'm tired of disrespectful, impatient attitudes of entitlement. Children need to learn self-control, discipline, patience, kindness, THE FRUITS OF THE SPRIIT... Virtuous behavior!

Kids Should:

1. Volunteer and learn the importance of helping others and of the concept of community.
2. Tend a vegetable garden, do the work, have patience as it grows, tend the garden, reap the harvest.

Argh. I'm off the soap box and going to bed.

Yes, I still want to be a teacher. Yes, I am prepared to deal with parents and children of parents like this.