Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Crimson Surfer

Well...this entry is for the ladies, so guys...hide your eyes, and move on to the next post.

There is a code phrase I use to indicate when it' do I delicately put this...."My time of the month."

The phrase is this, "I'm riding the crimson wave."

You may have heard its variations, "My bloody friend from England is here for a visit," or simply "Surf's up!"

Whatever the lingo...the symptoms of this monthly malady are universal...bloating, irritability, mood swings, and the lot...

We call it, "The curse" because since original sin in the Garden of Eden, women were cursed with pain in child bearing, and I am convinced that menstruation is part of that curse. Morning sickness, menstruation, name the uncomfortable hormonal cycle in life, and it can be tied directly to the reproductive process we know so well.

As a woman who is in the process of trying to conceive, it can be very emotional to see evidence of the crimson tide each month. I would love to make it past day 30 without becoming the surfer once again, but month after month it is the same. Between day 28 and day 30...

Surf's up!

I'll just have to be patient, try not to get frustrated, or ask the "What if" questions, and rest in the sovreignty of God. HE has a plan!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Do you have friends that inspire you? I do. Lots of them. And it wasn't until I sent out a family newsletter asking people to send me news back, that I got to see just how inspirational these friends are and have become since we last communicated.

I've got one friend who is a wife and a mother to a little boy, and she is going back to school to become a social worker, after years of contemplation. I have another friend who is a wife and mother to two little girls and a little boy and she has started her own childrens' photography business. Visit her website at . She taught herself how to use her camera, built her own website and now she is attending business fairs to market herself!

Another friend, who is a wife and mother to three children is a teacher and she has started her own consulting business for children with behavioral issues. Another is a wife, a soldier, mother of three boys and her husband, who is also in the army is being deployed for a year overseas.

I cannot tell you how hearing from all these special women in one day has lifted my spirits and got my own thoughts stiring about what I could be doing with my own life. What potential is inside of me? What potential is inside of YOU?

Gratefulness and Gratitude

Have you thanked God lately for the people he puts in your life, for the food he puts on your table or for the roof over your head? In a world where feelings of gratitude are replaced by feelings of entitlement is it any wonder that we forget to be thankful for our blessings, and instead complain bitterly of disappointment?

We compare ourselves to our neighbors....the grass is always greener, isn't it? Their car is better, HE has a Playstation, I bet THEIR roof doesn't leak... We've all made similar complaints, haven't we? Yet when we truly compare ourselves to the rest of the world we realize how wealthy we really are.

When I'm tempted to chew my husband out for something he didn't intentionally do, or because I'm feeling particularly hormonal and he isn't REALLY at fault, I have to reign myself in on occasion and TRY and think logically about how I have just behaved, and then go promptly to apologize for my beastliness.

I remind myself of my blessings in the midst of my self-centered storm. I think of the good things he does for me, or of the nice things I have, and how, really, after all, they aren't THAT bad, in fact they are GOOD and they are from the Lord.

So instead of complaining the next time you are inconvenienced, put things into a perspective of comparison that appreciates the things you DO have, instead of being critical of the things you DON'T. Put yourself in someone else's shoes, think how THEY might be feeling or what might be motivating their actions.

So, tip your waitress a little extra...
appreciate your spouse,
give God credit where credit is due
and live thankfully, one day at a time,
starting with today.

Calvin and Hobbes

I am a pet person. I like pets. In fact I love them like a part of my family. It's like the godfather. You come after him, you come after the family. I'd go to the mattresses for my "boys."

This past Sunday evening, my husband and I had the saddening and emotionally exhausting experience of taking out beloved pet cat Calvin to the vet to be put down. Calvin was sick with chronic urinary tract blockages, causing him immense pain and the inability to urinate.

We were faced with the decision to either put him down or continue to let the vet bills mount with expensive surgeries that may or may not help cure his condition. In the end, we opted to save him pain and ourselves from losing our home by putting him to sleep.

That was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, that WE have ever had to make as a couple. Why did we have to make it? Why did God allow us to go through those painful moments? Why is his littermate and brother left without his companion? Why did Calvin have to be sick at all? What if I had done things differently? Did we do the "right" thing?

In the world of "Whys?" we can choose to berate ourselves with questions like these, to second guess and torment oursleves or we can choose to believe that through prayer, God lead us to the right decision and that He is sovreign. He knew that before Calvin and Hobbes were placed into our arms as kittens that this day, Calvey-Poo-Pants would leave us on Sunday evening, less than two years from the time he became our kitty. He knew that his brother Hobbes would be left without a companion and friend to play with while Jeff and I are at work. He knew the pain we would feel, but he also knew the joy we had until the day we lost him.

I choose to believe that my Calvin AND my Hobbes are blessings from the Lord. That while they are here with us, they bring us joy and in the unexpected end, some sorrow, but they are to be treasured.

Depending on your theological perspective, you may or may not believe that pets go to heaven. I like to believe that they do, but I can't tell that it explicitly says that anywhere in God's Word. I had the privilege of being blessed by two little cats and of raising them from kitten-hood to cat-hood. I also had the privilege of being there to hold my little guy when the dear vet who had worked to long to help Calvin, put him to sleep forever.

Jeff and I were there together to hold him and comfort him and to pray that God would take him home to Himself.

My Calvin. We will miss him so.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Just One More Thing...

Just One More Thing...

How busy is "too busy"?
When is life too full to be enjoyable?
What is the cost of restlessness or
the toll taken by saying "yes" to everyone who needs something you have to give?

I ask myself these things as I find myself needing a break from life. I'm not suicidal, simply tired of being too busy. I'm not enjoying working full time, attending classes year-round, and letting my body ease into fatness in my 30's because I'm too busy to live anything but a sedentary lifestyle.

When I was in 7th grade my teacher made us write a letter to ourselves listing goals that we would hope to have accomplished by our senior year of high school. I kept that letter, and I can say I didn't reach all my goals, but the point is, life doesn't always turn out how you hope it will as you look at it through the rose-colored glasses of youth.

I didn't rock my S.A.T.'s or take all AP level classes. I didn't go to an Ivy League school and I don't drive a fancy car. Until last October I drove the car I've had since college, until I wrecked it in an auto accident (incidentally, never thought I'd be in one of those).

By age 30 I thought I would be married with kids, working in my dream job somewhere, writing a newspaper column or living the life of a best-selling author, living in my dream house, socking money away for retirement and travelling the world. This is not my reality.

Time is a commodity, a gift, life's currency.
We are given a set number of hours in each day, week, month and year.
Time is portioned by boundaries we give to ourselves and to others.
Each man, woman and child is given an unknown amount of time on this earth and is given cultural parameters within which they can manipulate that time to their advantage.

Here today, gone tomorrow the old saying goes.
Who guarantees we will be here tomorrow to enjoy the wealth we amass today?

Is it really important to hold onto that grudge or is it better to seek reconciliation and forgiveness?
Is it better to work that 80 hour week or invest time in family?
Life is full of choices.

Time is an ally and an elusive foe.
It is our responsibility how we will employ him.

Time is a gift to be given to those we cherish, a sacrifice of praise, an offering of love.
Will we use ours to bring glory to ourselves or to our Father in heaven?

Just one more thing...
Time is a treasure.
We may hoard it like a dragon
or we may share it like a friend,
keeping some back for ourselves so our cup can runneth over!

How will I use the time I have today, to make a brighter, more enjoyable tomorrow even if I'm not here to enjoy it?

Friday, June 8, 2007

My Return from Neverland

Growing up is a peculiar thing.
All of us do it, except for Peter Pan.
I am not a Lost Boy,
though perhpas once I was one
of sorts.

When are you "too old to..."
Call your parents "Mommy" and "Daddy"?
Go home to do laundry?
Raid their refrigerator?
Impose on their hospitality?

When is it "OK to..."
Call in sick to work?
Be occasionally "a little bit late"?
Dress casually on a non-casual day of the week?
Sleep in....on Monday?

When did I learn personal responsibility?
When did I become too old to sleep in the nursery?

What happened to those Darling boys and Wendy,
to that flying boy dressed in green
carrying a short sword
and crowing like a bird?

Sprinkle me with fairy dust
and watch how high I fly
to the second star on the right
and straight on, til morning

I returned from Neverland
to trade in my green tights for a business suit
and my sword for my palm piolet.

They told me that
The pen is mightier than the sword
I'm not sure that was the truth.