By Jove! They Did it AGAIN!

My children operate fast. I. mean. fast. There is no checking Facebook "real quick". There is no "sending a quick email". There is only the time when they are awake, and my eyes are upon them, and then there is down time AFTER the children are in bed. THIS is my new policy. Henceforth, in order to avoid mass chaos, the destruction of property, and loss of life, I will hereby watch my two-year-old tornados at all times in the strongest efforts to avoid the following.

Poop grenades
Public urination
Destructive urination
Artistic tomfoolery
Cat fights
Cat strangulation
Devastated toy rooms
Accidental stabbings

If my two-year-old can drag a chair or a piece of furniture to a place she wants to reach, she will do it. Her twin has a thing for one of our cats. She likes to pick it up by the neck. Both, like to take their clothes and diapers off and then do their business as a form of protest or perhaps out of boredom. Nobody goes into their room for a nap unless they are exhausted and have had their daily poop (also a new policy). The knives are getting a new home today...it's called a place I like to call ANYWHERE-BUT-HERE. Have you heard of it? Would you like to go there sometimes? Me too.

Today, there was a new round of shenanigans. My girls like to keep life interesting for me, and I don't doubt they are acting according to their age. But today, as in most days, they act impulsively (I try to act surprised when they do this, and blame Jeff, but I can't fight heredity and neither can they). One was drawing on the coffee table with Crayola Twistables, but because of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, the table was put right again. The other, was squatting and peeing on the stroller. But in her defense, her diaper was leaking. I changed both girls.

Aside: My girl can put away a sippy and then fill her diaper like nobody's business. Well, actually, her business became my business, when she did it on the stroller. I went to take the stroller apart to get the seat covers off and that sucker would not come all the way off, so as I'm trying to put it back together after changing both their diapers I get one telling me the other's just pooped while the first one is trying to hand me the poop. I have no spacial reasoning so I've just taken this beast of a peed-upon double stroller apart and it's hot, and I'm sweating and trying to put it back before my husband gets home. Long story short, I manage the free-range poop and get the girls up to try and get them to nap...I figure, it's late in the day, they've both had a poop, they should be tired...there might be a chance to get a half hour or more to myself to get this stroller back together. Nope. I gave them a few minutes to settle, it didn't happen, I go up there, and both children are in a state of undress and my foot finds that at least one of them have peed on the area rug.

I love this age. They are honest to a fault. I try not to punish honesty. I like them honest. Me: "Shannon, did you pee on the rug?" Shannon: "Yeah. Right dare (indicating where she had urinated)." Me: OK, you know you're not supposed to pee on the rug. It goes in your diaper or in the toilet." Whateve mom! lol

I let them spend some quality time in the bathtub. Indoor pool time when it's hot out. By that time...everyone needed to cool off. Including mom. Love those girls! Daddy brought home dinner after I sent him an S.O.S. He even managed dessert and flowers too. Thank you Lord, for good daddies.

Bring Back Mayberry

"The world needs a little more Mayberry, and a lot less Jersey Shore."

I saw this quip on Facebook and I couldn't agree more. I'm not naïve. The sexual revolution and women's lib did happen. It's all true, but now that I'm into my middle to late 30's I'm missing a simpler time. Who am I kidding? I've been missing my childhood since it ended.

Being a stay-at-home momma (thank you Jeff) has afforded this mother with an opportunity to relive some of those moments with my children, and to even recreate them for a new age. While we don't have the above-ground pool I once enjoyed growing up, we do have a kiddie pool and a sprinkler, not to mention the slip and slide. We still enjoy popsicles and sticky fingers, doing our best to avoid sunburn and insect bites. The girls have even discovered the delight of the clothesline, playing in and among the sheets and towels in their own, secret world.

Much is lost in our world today. It's simplicity is gone and it's replacement is a sense of over-connectedness and a feeling of needing to unplug to unwind. We've always had responsibilities, they've just infringed on more of our personal time since the invention of personal computers and cell phones.  With all the new fangled gadgets, I feel a need for less race, more relaxation.

Time now passes more quickly, threatening to cascade down the mountain and I can't stop it's avalanche. While I was younger, I remember when I couldn't wait to be in the next grade. Now I see my toddlers growing out of 2T clothing and into 3T before my bleary eyes and I want to put bricks on their heads and urge them to stop growing, because...I want them to stay little. Not for always, just for now.

As their hair and limbs lengthen, and their faces become more lean, they begin to look like little girls and less like toddlers. Their sentences are growing longer, their thoughts more intentional and their deeds more purposeful. When did they become so polite, and yet so eager to fight each other over the slightest misdeed? I fought with my sister when we were little, no mistake about that. I see some of the same squabbles between my girls that I did between myself and their Aunt Cari. (Ah...we had it good, didn't we Cari?)

Saturday morning cartoons, hikes to the creek past the town sewage treatment plant, Nintendo, bike rides, forts in the woods, trips to Seabreeze Amusement Park and summers at the Lake? Back to school shopping trips for clothes and school supplies were the best. When that alarm went off on those September mornings, we practically sprung out of bed to put on our new favorite outfit for the first day of school. We. Were. Awesome...because we had each other.

I miss Mayberry. I miss living at home with my parents...the simplicity of being taken care of by other people who paid the bills, protected us from the boogeymen, and chased away the bad dreams. I miss having someone take care of me when I'm sick, to cook my dinner and to give me money when the ice cream truck comes to the neighborhood. (Dang-it Mom and Dad, when can you move in?)  I miss a time when my hardest decision was whether or not to peg my jeans.

I must be careful not to spend these years wishing I was living in the past, lest I miss the blessings of the present. So I relish this time with my daughters, trying to let go, and be more spontaneous and to remember how much fun it is to get dirty and to sink my toes in the mud, because time flies on swiftest wings, and little girls become tweenagers in the blink of an eye. My daughters, now is your time to shine for your Mayberry is now.