I have 123 days left until my due date, and while I know that most women don't have their babies on their actual due date, I can't help but smile and think that somewhere close to that time frame, I'll get to meet my babies for the first time. Wow. Mind-blowing stuff. The stuff that dreams are made of.
So many thoughts are going through my head these last few days, among them: thankfulness over the holiday, missing my Grammy that passed a year ago this time of year (a few days after Thanksgiving), missing my husband who has gone hunting and thinking about preparing for my babies.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I'm sure there are many things written about appropriately shaping the gender identity of your child as an evangelical parent. In today's day and age of permissive parenting, that parenting role, that aspect of training of a child has taken a back seat and children are now encouraged to explore their own identities, unstifled by traditional roles and values. If you try and guide your child's gender identity, you may be seen as intolerant or hateful, or homophobic. Why not let them decide? Does it really matter at the age of five if a child goes to a school Halloween party dressed as Daphne from the Scooby Doo cartoon? Does it matter if we let our daughter's go as Batman, or let both dress up in boy and girl clothes from the dress up trunk? When is it appropriate to step in and guide children towards godly, biblical gender roles? You can guess what the world would say, but what is the godly thing to do?
I recently read a rant by a pre-school mom who is a popular blogger. She let her five-year-old son go as Daphne to his christian pre-school costume party and was surprised by the intolerance and wide-eyed looks from some of the moms. Really? You were shocked and surprised that evangelical christians, of a traditional mindset found your permissive yet supportive and unconditional parenting questionable?
Polling all adults: Would you let your kid dress up in a Halloween costume (or dress up costume) of a different gender from your child's and send them to school? Would you ever try and shape the choices of your child with regard to gender role?
I was not surprised on a liberal website like this to find a lot of liberally minded readers who chimed in with how proud they were of her as a mom for defending her child's choice, and his self-expression and how intolerant those so-called christian moms were of her son and shame on them, blah, blah, blah. First of all, he's five, I get it. Kids are still experimenting with gender roles. I've heard the arguments that supposedly support a child's choice and that "he might really be gay", "he's raised by mostly women" or "has lot's of sisters" or "he's just different than the rest of his brothers" etc. Whatever the excuse is, when is it right to step in and try and guide our children's choices in this area? Some would argue, his choice is not hurting anyone, it's part of who he/she is, and it's not for adults to interfere, only to support. What do you think?