Good News!

I spoke to my Mom tonight and she sounds great. The tests came back negative for anything bad (her heart is in good shape, no pneumonia etc.) and the doctor thinks her asthma is allergy-related, so she has to investigate getting allergy shots. The drugs they gave her to help her breathe cleared up her lungs.

I found out that when my sister and I were little, my mom gave up getting allergy shots so my sister could have them. My parents couldn't afford the copays for both my mom and my sister getting the shots so Mom went without! The love of a mother...

Please continue to pray that the doctors will rule EVERYTHING bad out that they can and that she will get excellent treatment for what is actually wrong. It was a blessing of encouragement to be able to talk to her to HEAR that she was OK.

After talking to my Dad, I really started to worry that God was going to take my Mom away from me. I've talked to God about such a situation before, as if I could bargain with Him and I told Him, "OK God. I see you are messing with this stuff in my life over here (taking people away, living through car accidents, the deaths of other people I'm close to, the deaths of pets that are akin to family) and I can live a wounded life, if you will only not take my parents, or my sister etc."

A tape of all the crappy stuff that has happened in my life this last year plays in my head.

(Stream of consciousness....)
(Thinking) It could be cancer (what her Mom died of around her age), etc. GOD IS GOING TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM YOU.

FREAK OUT!

Pray...trust God for the outcome no matter what. Talked to friends, had impromptu dinner at my house. Good things...

Talked to Mom and know she is going to be OK...relief.
(End of stream of consciousness writing)

No matter how much I love my parents, one day I'm going to be separated from them in death and who knows who'll die first. It could be me. The thing is...it's not my job to sustain them, it's the Lord's and they are His and he gets to decide when He wants to bring them home. They're not going to live one day longer than He wills it, just as I won't live past the time of His desire. It's comforting to know that God is in control, though at times disconcerting that I am not.