When There's a Funeral

When there's a funeral, what do you end up thinking about? I'm not talking about your opinion on the flowers or how one of the mourners in particular was inappropriately dressed, or how good the sermon was at the service...I'm talking about your own introspective thoughts and your ponderings on the meaning of your life.

What does God think about the way I live my life? Have I really been trying to live for Him? Have I committed my way to the Lord and am I continuing to trust him to take care of me? Do I tell my friends and loved ones that I love them? Do I go out of my way to invite people over for dinner or coffee or to build friendships with the people in my life? Do I regularly make the effort to take the opportunities I have to glorify God?

All these questions and more have been swimming through my head the last couple of days since my friend died Dec. 31, 2007. Nina died, in the way that she died, in the time that she died, to bring glory to her heavenly Father. And she did! I looked around that church sanctuary that was packed with people and I thought, if I died today and went to be the Lord, would people mourn my passing to this degree? I was trying to gage my effectiveness for the kingdom of God, and you know what, there may be attendees at my funeral, but I would not draw the same number of people to my own funeral that Nina drew that day. I have not been living my life to the fullest for the kingdom of God.

Let's examine the evidence shall we? I live a relatively sequestered life. I keep my church committments to the bare minimum. I rarely have anyone over to our house for dinner. I've stopped volunteering to host small group at our house (because I have to cook and clean), and I don't make it a habit to go to the evening church service or to prayer meeting. I'm not involved in any extra curricular church activities or groups and I can't remember the last time I read my Bible outside of church. We haven't tithed since my husband took over managing the finances and we don't financially support a single missionary! I'm going to hell...not really, but I'm such a sinner!