Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Yowser! Stress...and Commentary


I'm feeling a little blue so I'm going to be all over the place with this post. Try and stick with me.

This is a picture of me looking at the giant aquarium exhibit with all the sharks and big fish, on vacation in NC. It seemed to fit.

I have the canker sore that ate Manhattan swelling in the inside of my lower lip. It started the second to last day of vacation and it's growing to monstrous proportions... Several things are conspiring to form the "perfect storm" of stress in my life. There is a growing sense of being overwhelmed right now...to use a beach analogy, I'm feel like I'm being rolled by a big wave and pummeled by the surf. Going on vacation after the fall semester started was a bad idea.

I had a very vivid nightmare early this morning about my Research Design class. I was presenting a project that I was totally unprepared to present and I had no idea what I was supposed to talk about and everything was disorganized and unfamiliar and everyone was looking at me with disdain and the professor was completely disappointed in me and gave me a really bad grade and wouldn't let me make it up. There were scissors, scotch tape and poster board involved, and it was horrible.

At some unknown and black hour of the night, Hobbes (our tiger cat) woke us up before the butt crack of dawn to play fetch and to be petted (he missed us a lot). In between settling him down I went in and out of the aforementioned nightmare and another new one about wandering around in a supermarket, without a list, while the lights kept going out and people almost started looting the place and threatening violence and I couldn't find my mom. Yup. I'm officially losing control.

I think I'm really starting to realize just how crazy my life has become. I know that everything is relative, but I really am stressed out of my mind. The causes? A non-relaxing vacation, lack of sleep, constipation, sun burn, period, hormones, weight loss woes, household chores, poor diet, course load and lack of understanding for what I should be doing, being buried in homework for said class, and missing my family in western NY. Did I mention that hormones suck?

I focus on the fact that this has happened before, and that this too shall pass. I also focus on not directing my angst towards my husband. Nobody likes to be the dog that gets kicked. At least maturity has guided my actions to this point and I have been able to decide to not pick at Jeff in a sorry attempt to gain some control of my life. I was able to focus my thoughts on a walk yesterday and then able to talk things through with a friend. Instead of attacking my husband, I'll focus on my schedule, and on my syllabus, and on exercising and cleaning. Those things always help. :)

Speaking of husbands...I'm watching a husband and wife get hitched on TV on GMA today. Tom and Annette are getting married in front of Niagara Falls. She walked down the aisle without her daddy. I wonder what the story is there. It's a super short ceremony, with stupid, shallow vows, easily broken, no depth. It's ridiculous...and scripted for TV.

Our cats are on patrol in the living room, poking around, searching for bugs, and I think for each other. It's always fireworks when they find one another. :) Perhaps I should adopt a philosophy of simplicity like my cats...but if I did that, I wouldn't ever graduate with my degree. Sigh.

Are there any storms in your life right now?

2 comments:

  1. Aww darlin, like you said, this too shall pass. I agree I miss my friends, I miss the simplicity of being in college, I hate trying to find a sitter, someone who will actually play with my daughter rather than sit and watch her, I'm a tad stressed about how I never got training on work and it's a little disorganized and while I love love love being a mom, it's hard to be a mom 24/7, take care of the house and work part-time. So I hear you. So wait on those babies they can come when things are less stressful. I hope you remember that you're not in all this alone and something that we all need to remember is that God is in control of our lives not us. So relax and know that it will all be alright.Big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh, Rig, I wish we could sit and catch up. So much has happened in both our lives since that year long ago!!! Storms do pass, and they usually leave us in better shape than when they came if we will let them. I can offer some help for the kanker sore though....Listerine. and if you can't handle that, use Scope. The Scope might take a little extra uses, but the Listerine starts to work that first day.

    ReplyDelete