Diagnostic Fiddledeedee

Well, Wednesday night came and so did the curse. I called the fertility clinic, that was closed due to the storm, but I left them a message with my Day One status. They called me back on Thursday to schedule a blood test for Friday, and an ultrasound and discussion (my word) on Monday. I assume they'll tell me what to do next at that meeting. Let the diagnostic testing begin!

I'm reading through my papers from the clinic and they are supposed to do a baseline transvaginal ultrasound and bloodwork on cycle day 2 or 3 of your menses. They scheduled my bloodwork for Day 2 and my ultrasound for Day 5. I just called and left a message at the nurse's station. Chlomid Challenge Test blood draws will be taken on cycle Days 3 and 10. I am supposed to take two Chlomid tablets (or more likely the generic form of the drug) by mouth on cycle Days 5 through 9 (which will probably not be those exact days either seeing as I'm visiting the doctor's office again on Day 5 and they don't get you the mail-order drugs that fast. I hate poor communication. No one has said, "It doesn't need to be exactly on such and such a day." I wish they would, so I wouldn't feel anxious about doing things on the WRONG DAYS. Argh! (See, I'm turning into a pirate again.)

Did you know that at the clinic (I keep calling it that. It sounds so cheap and back-alley, seedy) you only sign in with your FIRST name and that no one makes eye contact in the waiting room? It's the strangest thing. I keep thinking about what that's supposed to mean. These women are grieving and they're going through this stressful process, hoping that there will be one or more babies at the end of this very long and painful journey. I did notice they have a support group. Perhaps I shall join.

They all have a story to keep to themselves. I almost said, "to tell" but no one in there was talking about it... We're all in there for the same thing people! BABIES! So when I smile at you next time, smile back. I won't bite...I promise! ARGH! Just kidding. I'm not reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally a pirate.

When they called my name, I gave my blood, like a good girl, but I was a bit squeemish about it. It was a good stick. The gal who took my blood noticed that I didn't watch the needle go in and that my cheeks had some color. I said to her, "I suppose I should get used to this, right?" She smiled in agreement. It's a good thing I have good veins.

So....Monday. I will go back for my baseline trans-va-jay-jay ultrasound wanding. I've had them before, but there's always something a little nerve wracking about getting prodded with a large, member-sized wand in a delicate area, by a man that is not my husband. No joke. Well, joking aside, it is professionally done, with a nurse in the room etc. I'll just be glad when it's over.

One day, I hope to hold my baby to my breast and know that all the tears, the needle sticks, the hormone surges and the pain was all worth it. Do you hear that child-to-be?! I love you already.