Why is it, that when I'm supposed to feel peace, I feel turmoil? Is it the lack of sleep, the blessed weight of pregnancy, or the stress of not knowing what the financial future holds? Perhaps it is a combination of factors. Another life transition knocks at my door and even if I'm not ready, it's coming into my life at it's due time.
We're wondering how we're going to make ends meet, and pay all our bills when I'm home with the twins and still don't have a teaching job. I'm wondering how my delivery is going to go and dreading it, while at the same time looking forward to seeing our long awaited bundles of joy....
How will it all come together? I know that time marches on and circumstances will all crash together, I'm just wondering what condition our lives will be in, after it all hits the fan. (I enjoy mixing my metaphors.)Will we still be in our house? Will I ever find a teaching job? How will we pay for my special education classes I need to finish my special ed. certificate in order to get a teaching job? (I have found that you need to be certified in order to even be considered now!)
I want to know it's going to be OK. I want to know that we'll be able to stay in our home and raise our babies, and that I'll get a teaching job, or that my husband will get a magical promotion at work and we won't have to worry about money.
There are no guarantees in this life. That's part of what makes it so worrisome and yet, so adventurous.
I have learned that money takes care of itself. I have also learned that God truly does provide. It's not an easy lesson, and it's a lesson I find myself relearning over and over again, and I wish I didn't have to learn it at all - that enough was always just in the bank. Be encouraged though - God has it all under control!
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