I May be Crazy But....

Friends,

I ask you to pray with me as next week I add another 3 days with Dr. Drill to my exercise regiment. That's right...6 days a week, getting up at 4:30 a.m. to work out from 5:15 ish to 6:30 a.m.

Yes, I'm still in school and still working full time. May the good Lord give me strength! I'm anticipating feeling extra tired, and as a result, I will be open to irritability, mood swings etc. Pray for my husband for extra grace and love when dealing with me, and pray that I would respect him as I should.

I'll be at the Lansdale YMCA M,W,F and at the Hatfield Athletic Club T,Th, Sat. If you are in the area and interested in signing up contact Dr. Drill through his website at http://www.drdrillinstructor.com/ . This program is the best thing I have done for myself in years.

Have a great day!

Tempted and Kicking Temptation in the Butt

There are times when I just get so frustrated in life, that I'm ready to "throw in the towel." No, not commit suicide, just have a...to quote Victoria Beckham, "MAJOR" hissy fit.

When I'm dieting and I see amazing food that I "can't" eat...

When I'm frustrated trying to get pregnant and it's not happening...

When I'm taking classes and the end doesn't seem in sight...

I just want to explode and give up, all at the same time (is that possible? And if it was, it might be messy...)!

I'm tired of dieting, tired of trying to work things out when I have relationship issues, tired of sacrificing and compromising and going the second mile... and sometimes I lose little battles. But you know what? When I give in, I'm the first one to suffer.

That's why I have to suck it up and keep on, keepin' on....#1 because it's the RIGHT thing to do and #2 it's probably best for everyone else that I do. :)

So how do I deal with stress?

1. Go for a run or a walk (exercise boosts good feelings and gets out aggression)


2. Watch a movie that makes me cry or gives me warm fuzzies (also promotes good feelings and cries out the bad ones)


3. Call a friend that will listen and encourage me (not one that will gossip and add fuel to the fire, but a mentor, one that will offer perspective and pray with me)


4. Try and take a nap (get enough rest)


5. Step back and examine the situation (after the emotional storm subsides and I can view something logically)


6. Check my diet and make sure I'm getting enough protein and good food to eat.

Those are the biggies.

What do you do when you are ready to burst?

What is common to man....

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."

I speak for myself. I am tempted to do all kinds of things everyday. Somethings I automatically recognize and resist, others I habitually fall prey to...like the temptation to gossip. Oh my word! There is nothing so tempting as a juicy bit of news! But when do we cross the line between sharing news and trading gossip?

Wikipedia says,

"Gossip consists of casual or idle talk between friends. While officially value neutral, the term often specifically refers to talk of scandal, slander, or schadenfreude relating to known associates of the participants, and discussed in an underhand or clandestine manner. Compare backbiting.

While gossip forms one of the oldest and (still) the most common means of spreading and sharing facts and views, it also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information thus transmitted. The term also carries implications that the news so transmitted (usually) has a personal or trivial nature. Compare conversation."

When I am angry about something someone has done to me, or I am having a bad day, there is nothing so satisfying as channeling it into gossiping about someone that has annoyed me. This is a HUGE temptation for me. While I may not initiate a conversation like this, I enjoy becoming involved it it. I revel in evil!!!!! AND IT'S WRONG! I will admit it.

Beyond the question of why it's so fun, I should ask myself, why do I continue to do it? Is it foolish to admit I struggle with this sin on a blog? :0

As a Christian, Is it Ever OK to Complain?

As a Christian, is it ever OK to complain? Help me out here people. I just had a bad experience at a restaurant (that will remain nameless, but whose name rhymes with "Crapplebees") and I want to complain so badly. Ordinarily I cringe to complain at restaurants or to send something back because #1 I'm afraid they'll spit in my food and then feed it to me with a smile, or #2. Once I've had a bad experience, why would I ever go back? or #3. I don't want to ruin my "Christian witness."

Here's my beef. I just started a new diet and exercise program. I don't go out to eat too often at a mid-level restaurant, and when I do spend money ($10.99) I would like the food and service to be good. I ordered a Weight-Watchers meal at a local restaurant and it came to the table with the veggies drenched in butter. I have ordered this selection before and the veggies came sans butter or with way less butter.

I mentioned this to the waitress, and asked if she could bring me veggies without butter on them intimating I wasn't expecting butter laden vegetables. She said she would check. She came back shortly thereafter without new veggies and told me that she couldn't do anything about it, no apology. I waited expectantly for her to offer a substitution or to offer to take something off my bill but there was nothing. I just paid $10.99 for tap water with lemon, a piece of fish and some rice pilaf. Dang.

It's a fact of life that if people know that you are a Christian and then you make a public display of affliction, you are misrepresenting Christ. Do I have to put up with bad service indefinitely, and turn the other cheek for all eternity, or is there a right way to deal with this situation? What would you do?

Boot Camp Kick Off

It is humbling to see just how far out of shape I have allowed myself to become. Today was the first day of boot camp. I woke up at 4 a.m. (too early) and left the house around 4:15 a.m. to get there on time (I think I'll try leaving at 4:30 a.m. on Wednesday). Eager beaver that I was, I got there before EVERYONE, even Dr. Drill so I sat in my car in the dark and pretended I was on a stake out, watching a delivery truck pull into the shopping mall in front of me, a couple of early morning joggers, and the gradual increase in traffic as people started their morning commutes.

When I saw Dr. Drill pull into the parking lot, I followed him into the building. I felt like such a brown noser. Oh well. I helped bring a bag in and set stuff up. Bonus was, I didn't have to wait in line to get my blood pressure taken!

Today was an "administrative day" so we didn't work out as hard as I thought we were going to. A gradual ease-in is good for my nerves I suppose. We are using this week to take base line measurements on our size and capabilities so this morning we did crunches, squats and push ups to see how many we could do in two minute increments. All in all I did 100 crunches, 25 girly-push-ups on my knees, and 73 squats. On Wednesday, we'll be running around a track, so that should be fun :). Ooorah!

My friend Jynell is my squad leader. She has really been showing me the ropes, much to my relief and delight. She's a powerhouse, no-holds-barred, tough cookie. I hope I do her proud! She lent me her old, fingerless, work out gloves this morning because I neglected to purchase a pair. Thanks girl! I hope they bring me good juju :) (Jynell lost 30 lbs. doing weight watchers and Drill's boot camp. This is her 3rd or 4th session. She's my boot camp hero. Go girl!

I'm really enjoying all the repetitive echoing we do of our drill instructor and the counting etc. We do it as a team and I'm finding I really enjoy the enthusiasm and energy it creates. Dr. Drill talks about discipline and setting goals for ourselves and he talks about how we will be monitored. He also talks about the changes in our bodies we can expect to see in 10 weeks and the inches we will lose. It's pretty exciting. He expects us to give 110% when we're there and THAT is good to hear. I like to be encouraged and pushed that way. And I love being around disciplined people! I'm even hoping that some of my friends will want to join if they admire the results and changes in my life.

Mood: positive, expectant, good

Things I'm learning about myself: There is ALWAYS room for growth. I lack spiritual, emotional and physical discipline. I am working on these areas of my life.

I will commit to: counting points with my Weight Watchers guide book, and writing down what I put into my body (both food and drink). Successfully completing boot camp. Going to Sunday School and Bible Study (when it starts), spending time in prayer each day with God and reading from my Bible. I need to journal/blog as often as possible about my experiences so that I don't forget the journey, when I reach the destination. I will work to be cognisant of my emotions and how my behavior influences others.

People I met in boot camp: Dr. Drill, Beth, Kim (co-leaders with Drill), Jynell my squad leader, Raquel (the girl who is next to me on my left), Andy the man who helped me set up the exercise mats this morning (a duty I gladly did because I was way early today).

Current weight: 193 lbs
Height: 5'10''
Goal weight: I'm not sure what's healthy for my height and frame, but I'll say 160 lbs. with muscle.

I weighed 167 lbs when I got married. I would love to be a size 8-10. Right now I'm a 14. Diggidy Dang. Time to get disciplined. Oohrah!

One of the things Dr. Drill has us do is care for and maintain our amo box. It's a munitions box that we are supposed to personalize and bring with us to class each day. Jeff took me to WalMart this weekend to get some stuff to decorate it with and I thought I already knew what I wanted to do when I got there, and then I didn't so we went home without any decorations.

This whole boot camp experience is opening up windows in my life for me and causing me to be "introspective" as Jeff put it so eloquently. Our amo boxes are to be a "reflection of [us]". What am I all about? What is a good reflection of who I am inside? (What would Mulan say? WWMS)

As an adult, I am learning about my own lack of knowledge in spiritual things, lack of discipline in my eating habits and exercise habits, and my inability to be decisive and take charge of my own destiny. That part has changed since I started school, and began this boot camp program. I am hoping that through the discipline of this boot camp, I will become disciplined in my own life.

Just because I was up three hours earlier than I normally am, I had more time to myself, I played with my cat, and didn't feel as rushed as I typically do in the morning getting out of bed late and then throwing myself together to get to work on time. I had to prepare the night before for boot camp, check my gear, lay out my clothes etc. It felt good to do something like this for myself, for ME! Oh my word! How fabulous! Here's looking forward to what the next 10 weeks may bring!

My Poor Posture

I recently, or semi-recently wrote about comments someone made to ME about my lack of good posture. (This person even asked if I had a history of Scoliosis (spelling?). No, I just huntch. Dang.

I admit my head rests in front of my rounded shoulders and that I have TERRIBLE posture. I slouch all day at work in my office chair, and I don't work out. Hence, I have no muscles developed to help support even moderately good posture.

Like the middle aged man who sucks in his protruding beer belly when the pretty girl walks by, I straighten to impress, and only to impress. I'll admit, it does look better when I sit up straight. Posture is an asset. Everything you have on your body looks better when you can show it/them off by sitting up straight! When a person sits up straight it says positive things about him or her.

A person with excellent posture looks like they have it together. They appear self-confident, ready and in possession of self-control. Slouchers like me just look lazy and like they don't care if someone gives them a papercut and pours lemon juice on it.

Check out this article I found on posture: http://www.nashvillescene.com/Stories/Columns/2005/04/07/Making_a_stand_for_good_posture/index.shtml

It rocks!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

To begin with a cliche...It never ceases to amaze me how...two people can look at something and see different sides of it. Like that group of blindfolded people who grope that elephant, feeling different parts of it and coming to various conclusions on what it is they are feeling.

My idea of a vacation has changed since I married a Schoonover. P.S. (pre-Schoonoverization) I was content with a book and a vacation by the lake, without too many activities to do. Now A.S. (after-Schoonoverization) I want a plan and an itinerary of activities in addition to down-time.

Through this vacation experience I have learned that going on vacation with small children is not relaxing at all. Everything you do revolves around them: where you will go, how long you can stay there, feeding times, when you have to be back from your activity so they can be back in time for their nap...Perhaps, I am not ready or cut-out for parenting.

People keep telling me, "Oh you'll be great parents!" But when you are a parent your whole life becomes your children and their needs and wants and trying to train their naturally selfish behavior. It's one long life-lesson in self-control.

You can't sleep in anymore. You can't go out to eat at nice restaurants. You have to save the money you would normally spend on other things, on the baby. Everything revolves around them and their short attention spans and their unnerving ability to be fully awake in less than a minute. They don't have any morning fog they need to conquer, not like adults. Their eyes open, and BLAM! they're awake.

Is there life during parenting? Help me my friends with kids...you're my only hope.

Personal Literacy Statement

I have enjoyed reading and writing since I was very young. I still have volumes of phonetically spelled stories I wrote in kindergarten in a scrapbook at home (thanks to my mom). I also have multiple diaries I kept through high school and some into college.

When I was a child, my mother took my sister and me to the library all the time (it was only a short walk from our house growing up). Mom read to us often and I became interested in fiction and storytelling from childhood.

I remember that in 3rd grade we had a book worm made of construction paper that stretched all the way around our classroom. The segments of his body were multicolored circles baring the name of a book, and the child’s name who had read it. I used to get a thrill every time my name and a book would go join the book worm on the wall!

Besides my mom, I had several influential teachers who not only read to us, but also encouraged us to read independently and out loud in class. I remember being transported to C.S. Lewis’s land of Narnia again and again. I visited the prairie with Laura Ingalls Wilder and I solved mysteries with Nancy Drew.

Today I continue to enjoy reading and writing. I read independently whenever I have the opportunity, and I maintain a personal Blog. I find that reading and writing not only relax me by allowing me to vacation from the pressures of life, they also help me to express and process my feelings and give me an outlet for my thoughts. I cannot imagine life without these abilities. They have helped shape my life.

Getting Pregnant for the Right Reasons

Are there definite right and wrong reasons to get pregnant? If so what are they? As I have talked to my husband Jeff about having kids, we ponder the acceptable circumstances for bringing a child into this world. Number one we ask ourselves, "Why?" and number two "When?"

Some possible "Why" answers:

We should have a child because:

We're getting older and we want to see what our children will look like before we die.

We want people to be around to care for us when we die.

We want the experience of having a family.

We want to follow the Biblical directive to "be fruitful and multiply."

Some possible "When" answers:

When we have enough money

When we're old enough

When we're established in our careers and settled in our house

When we're ready to stop being the babies, and to start making babies...:)

But!

How much money is enough?

The biological clock is tickin' here people...

Will I ever be "established?"

When is the right time, and how do we know we are ready to be a parents?

What do you think?

The Great Weight Loss Adventure AKA, Developing Self-Discipline

Anyone who has ever tried to lose weight has failed, at least once. That's my theory. I need to discipline myself. I have to deny my self gratification and have a rebirth of mind and soul before I can have one in body!

I cannot even tell you the last time I darkened the door of a mall store that sold womens' clothing, but I can tell you what my visit was like. I was unable to fit into anything they sold because I have ballooned to a size 14. A sedentary lifestyle will do that to you! I am too fat to wear the trendy clothes of people in their 20's and still not fat enough to shop in the plus size store. I am at that crossroads in fatness where I can choose to discipline myself and lose weight, or I can give in, say "The heck with this!" and just get fatter and fatter, letting frumpiness envelope me like fat folds.

Unfortunately, I can't just wish it away, or drink diet soda and hope that will be enough (I've tried and it doesn't work). Neither does going to the gym three times a week for a half-hour. I have to develop a new way of thinking...one where I have the frame of mind that weight loss is more important than school, more important than housework, yard work or even sleep.

The only way I will successfully lose weight and not continue to be fat in my 30's is to prioritize my weight loss goal. I must manage my diet and get regular, vigorous, sustained exercise. I must get regular sleep. There are going to be some serious changes taking place.

"Lean protein and vegetables," is my mantra, followed by, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"... I'm hoping that's what happens when I strap on my too tight workout clothes (that I have grown out of) and start exercising again in yet another effort to revisit my size 12, and dare I say, size 10 pants and size medium tops.

I don't want to look back on my life and wish I had been thinner! I have already noticed some unpleasant changes in my body and I have to stop this degenerative progression into fatness and obesity before it's too late.

Fatness happens gradually. It starts with small changes in behavior that develop into poor eating habits and a decline in activity, compounded by a change in metabolism. Before long, you're looking in the mirror flapping your arms that hang heavy with clap-fat, counting your chins and grabbing your own love handles!

Aieeeeeee!

The Crimson Surfer

Well...this entry is for the ladies, so guys...hide your eyes, and move on to the next post.

There is a code phrase I use to indicate when it's...how do I delicately put this...."My time of the month."

The phrase is this, "I'm riding the crimson wave."

You may have heard its variations, "My bloody friend from England is here for a visit," or simply "Surf's up!"

Whatever the lingo...the symptoms of this monthly malady are universal...bloating, irritability, mood swings, and the lot...

We call it, "The curse" because since original sin in the Garden of Eden, women were cursed with pain in child bearing, and I am convinced that menstruation is part of that curse. Morning sickness, menstruation, menopause...you name the uncomfortable hormonal cycle in life, and it can be tied directly to the reproductive process we know so well.

As a woman who is in the process of trying to conceive, it can be very emotional to see evidence of the crimson tide each month. I would love to make it past day 30 without becoming the surfer once again, but month after month it is the same. Between day 28 and day 30...

Surf's up!

I'll just have to be patient, try not to get frustrated, or ask the "What if" questions, and rest in the sovreignty of God. HE has a plan!

Just One More Thing...

Just One More Thing...

How busy is "too busy"?
When is life too full to be enjoyable?
What is the cost of restlessness or
the toll taken by saying "yes" to everyone who needs something you have to give?

I ask myself these things as I find myself needing a break from life. I'm not suicidal, simply tired of being too busy. I'm not enjoying working full time, attending classes year-round, and letting my body ease into fatness in my 30's because I'm too busy to live anything but a sedentary lifestyle.

When I was in 7th grade my teacher made us write a letter to ourselves listing goals that we would hope to have accomplished by our senior year of high school. I kept that letter, and I can say I didn't reach all my goals, but the point is, life doesn't always turn out how you hope it will as you look at it through the rose-colored glasses of youth.

I didn't rock my S.A.T.'s or take all AP level classes. I didn't go to an Ivy League school and I don't drive a fancy car. Until last October I drove the car I've had since college, until I wrecked it in an auto accident (incidentally, never thought I'd be in one of those).

By age 30 I thought I would be married with kids, working in my dream job somewhere, writing a newspaper column or living the life of a best-selling author, living in my dream house, socking money away for retirement and travelling the world. This is not my reality.

Time is a commodity, a gift, life's currency.
We are given a set number of hours in each day, week, month and year.
Time is portioned by boundaries we give to ourselves and to others.
Each man, woman and child is given an unknown amount of time on this earth and is given cultural parameters within which they can manipulate that time to their advantage.

Here today, gone tomorrow the old saying goes.
Who guarantees we will be here tomorrow to enjoy the wealth we amass today?

Is it really important to hold onto that grudge or is it better to seek reconciliation and forgiveness?
Is it better to work that 80 hour week or invest time in family?
Life is full of choices.

Time is an ally and an elusive foe.
It is our responsibility how we will employ him.

Time is a gift to be given to those we cherish, a sacrifice of praise, an offering of love.
Will we use ours to bring glory to ourselves or to our Father in heaven?

Just one more thing...
Time is a treasure.
We may hoard it like a dragon
or we may share it like a friend,
keeping some back for ourselves so our cup can runneth over!

How will I use the time I have today, to make a brighter, more enjoyable tomorrow even if I'm not here to enjoy it?