My children operate fast. I. mean. fast. There is no checking Facebook "real quick". There is no "sending a quick email". There is only the time when they are awake, and my eyes are upon them, and then there is down time AFTER the children are in bed. THIS is my new policy. Henceforth, in order to avoid mass chaos, the destruction of property, and loss of life, I will hereby watch my two-year-old tornados at all times in the strongest efforts to avoid the following.
Poop grenades
Public urination
Destructive urination
Artistic tomfoolery
Cat fights
Cat strangulation
Devastated toy rooms
Accidental stabbings
If my two-year-old can drag a chair or a piece of furniture to a place she wants to reach, she will do it. Her twin has a thing for one of our cats. She likes to pick it up by the neck. Both, like to take their clothes and diapers off and then do their business as a form of protest or perhaps out of boredom. Nobody goes into their room for a nap unless they are exhausted and have had their daily poop (also a new policy). The knives are getting a new home today...it's called a place I like to call ANYWHERE-BUT-HERE. Have you heard of it? Would you like to go there sometimes? Me too.
Today, there was a new round of shenanigans. My girls like to keep life interesting for me, and I don't doubt they are acting according to their age. But today, as in most days, they act impulsively (I try to act surprised when they do this, and blame Jeff, but I can't fight heredity and neither can they). One was drawing on the coffee table with Crayola Twistables, but because of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, the table was put right again. The other, was squatting and peeing on the stroller. But in her defense, her diaper was leaking. I changed both girls.
Aside: My girl can put away a sippy and then fill her diaper like nobody's business. Well, actually, her business became my business, when she did it on the stroller. I went to take the stroller apart to get the seat covers off and that sucker would not come all the way off, so as I'm trying to put it back together after changing both their diapers I get one telling me the other's just pooped while the first one is trying to hand me the poop. I have no spacial reasoning so I've just taken this beast of a peed-upon double stroller apart and it's hot, and I'm sweating and trying to put it back before my husband gets home. Long story short, I manage the free-range poop and get the girls up to try and get them to nap...I figure, it's late in the day, they've both had a poop, they should be tired...there might be a chance to get a half hour or more to myself to get this stroller back together. Nope. I gave them a few minutes to settle, it didn't happen, I go up there, and both children are in a state of undress and my foot finds that at least one of them have peed on the area rug.
I love this age. They are honest to a fault. I try not to punish honesty. I like them honest. Me: "Shannon, did you pee on the rug?" Shannon: "Yeah. Right dare (indicating where she had urinated)." Me: OK, you know you're not supposed to pee on the rug. It goes in your diaper or in the toilet." Whateve mom! lol
I let them spend some quality time in the bathtub. Indoor pool time when it's hot out. By that time...everyone needed to cool off. Including mom. Love those girls! Daddy brought home dinner after I sent him an S.O.S. He even managed dessert and flowers too. Thank you Lord, for good daddies.
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